You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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