You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
