im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
