Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
