is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
