you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
