..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
