I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
