so explain again why im purple
no
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
