I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
