didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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