That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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