I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
