I want to walk on stilts...naked
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
