Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
