I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
