But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
