we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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