Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
