My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
