Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
