I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
