By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
