Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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