First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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