I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
