I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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