Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
please come you make the beer taste better
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Randomize
