I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
