i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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