I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
