I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
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