Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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