i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
