WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
