im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
