He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
