he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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