i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
