Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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