First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
