I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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