If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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