He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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