So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
