Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
It was confusing and full of hummus
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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