I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
