on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
