i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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