This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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