He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
