a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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